Birthday Whims
by mixthealphabet
Summary: It's Natsume's birthday and she does what she wants. / Set after chapter 35 of the manga.


**Birthday Whims **by Larissa

She is kissing him.

Pushing against a wall, holding onto his collar, battling tongues, kissing him.

It's a sensation she has never felt before, mostly because Natsume has never kissed anyone, partly because it's Sasayan and he is a completely new kind of anything in her life.

She can tell he is shocked by the stillness of his body against hers, but he lasts less than a minute before his hands find her waist, pulling her closer. Things become much more exciting after that, as he twirls them around and presses her back against the side of her house, without losing the softness of his touch.

This is not how they started, nor what they were supposed to become, but the girl can't really feel irritated with the path they have taken, for his tongue is tracing her bottom lip and the sensation makes her shudder with delight.

They – as in Natsume and Sasahara – begin with the strange spectacle that is Yoshida Haru and Mizutani Shizuku.

Natsume Asako is desperate when she goes to Mizutani, hoping to find someone that will help raise her grades, only to be rewarded with two very entertaining – though a little tactless – friends.

Sasahara Souhei doesn't actively seek them, but he lets himself be pulled into the mess that is their lives without the slightest display of regret, and it is difficult to argue with his kindness, so Natsume ends up letting him in, as well.

Through what happens in the following months, he is there besides her, full of difficult truths and comforting arms. He doesn't let her get away with everything, as others would have, but that is fine, because she is _his_ friend, not anyone else's.

And, then, there is that whole thing with Micchan and, for the first time in her life, Natsume truly understands what it means to be heartbroken. The pain blinds her, preventing her from hearing the tone behind his "oh, well"s and from seeing the glares he sends the "Manager" when no one is looking.

A festival, a cap and their hands holding each other is all it takes to break the fragile balance she has found when dealing with Sasayan.

What comes next is a lot of nonsense and a confession that is more of a brush off than anything else. It makes her confused because – let's be serious here – she was never that bright to begin with, but the two of them end up falling into a routine that is neither here, nor there.

Sasayan is a bit more distant, which bothers her, and Natsume is a lot more distrustful, which bothers him.

After some time, they stop talking about it, since it only seems to reopen the gash, instead of helping it heal.

It's her birthday when he appears on her front door, carrying a teddy bear that is almost his height and twice as wide. The sight makes her smile for the first time in the entire day.

Natsume loves birthdays; she loves having one day where everything is about making her happy and she has made this very clear to her friends, because, this year, her parents won't be there to celebrate with her, having traveled to her grandmother's in order to take care of the elderly's health.

However, the exams are just around the corner, and Mitty is unable to pay attention to anything but her text books. Haru isn't interested in studying, off course. He is excited with the idea of commemorating her birthday, but his father wants him home, for some reason, and that means he won't be present, either.

She spends the morning in her bed. Hunger comes around noon and it forces her into the kitchen, where she is preparing a quick meal when the doorbell rings.

"Happy birthday, Natsume-chan!" The boy exclaims with an enthusiasm that is so incredibly him that it makes something in her chest bubble. She decides it is happiness.

Natsume chuckles and throws herself at him, the stuffed animal between them.

It feels natural, in spite of all that has happened. She is flustered by his presence, but it is not anxiety, nor discomfort; it's something different, but that's okay for that describes pretty much everything when it comes to her and Sasahara.

"Would you like to come eat with me?"

They spend the whole afternoon together, among movies and conversations about the stupidest of things. She dances in her pajamas as he sings to some new band he has become fond of, and the two laugh at absolutely everything.

Natsume wonders when it got so easy to be herself with him.

"Thank you for coming." She says as they stand in her front porch, a small smile in her lips. "You really made my day."

Sasayan stares at her, baffled, before the expression slips into a grin that lights up his entire face. He looks boyish and gentle and caring, in a way that only he's able to do.

_Ah, but you weren't mistaken. I pretty much like you._

The memory hits her suddenly, making Natsume take a step back as she watches Sasayan ride away in his bike, turning around the corner and disappearing from sight.

She is running after him before the idea has even been processed in her brain.

"Sasayan! Sasayan!"

The boy stops and twists out of his bike to look at her over his shoulder. He tilts his head to the side in confusion, letting a warm smile spread across his complexion.

Her following actions are a blur as she crashes her lips to his, forcing him to turn fully to her before grabbing his shirt and pushing him against the closest wall.

It doesn't take long for him to have reversed their positions, doing things with his mouth that feel weird and amazing at the same time.

Sasayan is taller than her, though not much, making it easier for her to grab onto his shoulders to support herself. He lets his hands trail her sides cautiously and respectfully, creating patterns that Natsume thinks will be burned in her memory forever. She sighs into his mouth in contentment, grinding against him unconsciously, an act that elicits a soft moan from the boy.

He pulls away from her then, breathless and embarrassed.

"Why would you do that?" His eyes are closed and his voice is strained, but their foreheads are still touching.

Natsume blinks at his question, unsure of her own reasons.

She thinks about how he is always there, about harsh words that needed to be said, about study sessions when even Mitty has given up, about music and dance and the huge teddy bear up in her room. And she thinks about how her heartbeat is crazy against her chest, which makes her think about how she can feel _his_ heartbeat against _her_ chest and how their hearts are kind of synchronized.

It sounds cheesy, but it makes her smile.

"Because I wanted to."

This answer doesn't seem to explain anything, not to Sasayan at least, because he opens his eyes with a half angry, half confused expression on his face. The frown assures her that he will start an argument, unsatisfied with the way she is handling their situation.

So, she kisses him again.

* * *

This is kind of old. I wrote this on my tumblr and forgot to upload to fanfiction. I hope people like it, anyway.


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